Before I begin, I’ll warn you, this post is more for me then you, I want to be sure to remember everything about my daughter’s birth so there will be some not to pleasant parts to this. If you’re squeamish, this might get to you and it’s entirely possible some of this isn’t work safe.

2:30 AM, January 14, 2010. I was well into my nightly routine of sleep an hour, wake up, bathroom, change position when it happened. I flipped my turtle-ish body to sit up and as I did thought, oh, that’s strange. We all know things get leakier as the pregnancy goes on; that night it seemed like there was a bit more of a leak than usual. And then I stood up, and again, thought ok, that’s REALLY strange. But that was all I felt, and things didn’t really seem different than “normal” so I wrote it off as just one of the leakier moments, besides, Bob909 had a big day at work that day and I didn’t want to wake him and cause him to be tired for no reason. I got up, did my thing, went back to bed but I couldn’t get back to sleep. Rather than lying there useless I decided I might as well get up and work on my umbrellas since I had an order for 4 come in just a few days prior.

At 6am Bob909 woke up and went to work at while I painted; as the day passed I kept asking myself, was that my water breaking? And frankly every time I asked, my answer to myself changed. I finished my umbrellas and waited for him to come home. At some point during the day, I decided that I should tell him what I thought and get his opinion on the situation – but I wasn’t going to do it until he got home. Every time we talked on the phone that day was murder, I was dying to ask him what he thought, but somehow managed to hold off.

It was around 5:30 or 6pm when Bob909 finally got home. He came in, told me about his day and then I said, “Honey, it’s probably not, but I wanted to tell you what happened this morning.” I could see him run through the list of possible subjects and I honestly don’t think he landed on what I was about to say. I barely got my description out when he told me to call the midwives.
“Really,” I asked. “I mean, I haven’t been having any contractions or anything. It probably isn’t even my water breaking.”
“Don’t you remember what they said? If your water breaks, you’re essentially on a countdown. You’ve got 12 hours and it’s been 15.”
I didn’t recall that at all, but luckily for me, Bob909 has repeatedly proven to me that he retained more info from our class than I did. So I called and had the midwife paged. They quickly called back and I explained what happened. Sure enough, they told me to go in to triage and they’d check.

So we grabbed everything that was left on our to-be-packed list and got it into the suitcase. You know the things like the computer, camera, phone cords and such. During this time I noticed that I sort of felt like I was having contractions but I was unable to tell the time between them and how long they were lasting so I figured I was just experiencing Braxton Hicks not the real thing.

Bob909 called for a cab and as we made our way down Lake Shore Drive to the hospital we phoned our family and told them what was going on. We sat in triage for about an hour before going back to be examined. The exam which would allow them to run 3 tests to determine if my water had broke. The first test was to see if there is fluid pooling in the cervix. The second was to take a swab of that fluid and if the swab turned blue, it was likely amniotic fluid. The third test is the absolute – take the fluid dipped swab, rub it on a slide and if they see ferns, then without question your water broke. Test one said yes. Test two said yes. Test three was inconclusive.

In addition to the tests, they of course hooked up a fetal heart monitor as well as a monitor to watch my contractions if there were any. There were, they were a steady 8 mins apart during the two hours we were in there so imagine our surprise when instead of running that swab/slide test again, they decided to send us home. You see normally, if it’s been 18 hours since your water broke, you’d be induced and the baby would be on its way. Not for us. The midwife decided to send us home since we had an appointment the next morning at 9:15.

So home we went and sat around wondering what we should do. We opted for burritos from Mr. Salsa and a walk around the neighborhood. Bob909 was able to get sleep but I only managed about 3 hours thanks to contractions and overall nervousness. It was possibly the hardest night of my life because we were pretty sure that the next morning we’d be sent directly to the hospital, do not pass go and do not collect $300.

All three cats knew it too. They all curled up with me on the couch keeping me company through the night.

I’m sitting here with the first moments of quiet I’ve had in over a week. Since the Bot’s birth we haven’t had a day alone with her. First my father came up to visit for a couple days. He left Monday morning and that afternoon Bob909’s mom came into town. She stayed here until Friday, when she went home, and my dad came back again on Saturday until noon today.

Luckily they didn’t stay with us the during their visits. Instead they’d come by in the morning stay most of the day and leave usually after dinner. They were very helpful, taking care of her and helping tidy around the house here and there. But it was really exhausting having someone around constantly and wanting to entertain them. I think by the time Sunday evening came along I was pretty worn out and maybe the little Bot was too as last night was pretty rough for the two of us. We tried to let Bob909 get some sleep since today was his first day back to work. But she kept having non-stop feedings and diaper changes through the night. I finally got a little sleep around 4am. It’s a shame since she’d had such a good night the previous couple of nights.

So with my father leaving today, I was struck with the realization that this is the first time I’ve had alone with my daughter (beyond an hour or so) since she’s been born. It’s kind of frightening to think about and I still can’t believe that the people at the hospital allowed us to leave with her without needing to prove that we knew what to do and how to take care of her. Course, if we had to prove that we probably never would have been allowed to bring her home!

Really though, it’s amazing that I’m caring for this little person the best I can. She amazes me with every movement and breath. I’m at a loss of what I should do during this moment of quiet. Now that she’s lying there asleep, and I know I should just leave her be (and I am), I know what I should be working on, but have absolutely no interest in doing so, I just want to watch her be.

Well, it’s actually been a touch over a week now since our life changing event happened. The full description of how our birth plan worked out is forth coming but for now, I’m thrilled to announce that our little girl has finally arrived.

Lorelei Jean was born at 8:42 pm, Friday, January 15. It was a pretty long labor (again, story forthcoming) but in the end things went great and our little girl is happy, healthy and doing all the things a week old baby should be doing.

We are learning all the things new parents learn, like how to juggle all the different tasks so neither of us is too overly exhausted. The kitties are slowly starting to accept the little hooman in their home. And surprisingly, Escher, the hater kitty has done as close to a 180 as could be, coming up and checking her out and not hissing or being aggressive to any of us. Finn was the first kitty to be petted by her (with our help) and this morning he curled up to her back while she was sleeping, protecting her from the edge of the bed and keeping her nice and warm. Gizmo is having a harder time with our new bot. He’s acting a little different, not mean, and maybe I’m just making it all up, but it seems he’s a little sad that he’s not the baby anymore. I’m trying to take time with each of them both individually and with Lorelei.

But yes, we’re happy, proud parents, as you can see…

Something I didn’t understand in the earlier stages of my pregnancy was why women complained about being pregnant. I don’t mean the “ow my back” complaints, I mean the “I’m tired of it I’m ready to be done” complaints. Until I hit 37 weeks that is.

See, I’ve been lucky thus far, and I know it. I didn’t suffer bad bouts of morning sickness. I didn’t have any bad complications. Cravings were rare if not altogether non-existent. I didn’t have horrible mood swings that turned me into a raging evil beast towards Bob909. (That’s not to say there weren’t a few moments of frustration, but I don’t think they were much worse than how I am when not pregnant.) The worst thing I’ve suffered during my pregnancy has been the hip relaxing issues that have made walking and sleeping increasingly difficult. So when I found myself saying I’m ready to be done, I was surprised! Was I really tired of being pregnant? And the answer is a resounding “Yes!”

It seems 37 weeks is that magic moment. By now the baby is full term. She could come at any moment and be just fine. From the moment I hit 37 weeks, I’ve been hoping every day, all day, that labor would start. It’s my own personal torture which isn’t helped by the fact that everyone I talk to only bothers to ask “How long now?” like I’m no longer a person, I’m just a baby incubator waiting to spit one out. Oh sure, “Have you had her yet” might be followed up with the question of “How are you feeling”, but it all boils down to one subject, the baby.

Bob909 hasn’t had it any easier either. Everyday at work for him, people walk up and ask “Has she gone into labor yet?” Not thinking about the fact that if I were in labor or had had our daughter he wouldn’t be at work, he’d be at the hospital or at home with us!

As each week has passed it only gets worse. The outside nagging piles up and wears us down. I call Bob909 and the first thing he asks is if I’m in labor. Actually, it got so bad that when I called and he answered I’d start off the conversation with “I’m not in labor.” If I wake up in the middle of the night (and I do about 6 times from initially going to bed to when I’m tired of tossing and turning and finally get up) he wakes up and asks me if it’s contractions. I make a groan or a sign or an ooh from getting up or the little bot moving and he asks if it’s labor. And every time it isn’t.

Then there’s the “Can we make it happen sooner” attempts. We talk about my walking more, climbing stairs, acupressure, having the massage therapist focus on the points that are supposed to induce. And yes, of course, I’m doing all these things as well as eating spicy food every meal I could and every other old wives tale that is supposed to work. When I went to the midwife I had her check my progress and while I was happy to hear I was 1 cm and 50% effaced, I was frustrated knowing that that meant nothing really because it just doesn’t work that way.

Now I’m at 39 weeks and I’m miserable. I can’t stand hearing anyone ask if she’s come yet or are we getting close. The phone rang today and I was going to ignore it cause I knew it was just someone asking if the baby has been born yet. It was my dad so I answered, but sure enough the first thing he asked is if I had any news. Same with my brother, who surprisingly you would think remembers the agony, but apparently both their sons were a month early, so they didn’t go through this part of pregnancy.

I think this has to be the worst part of being pregnant for me. I’m not a patient person and I want to see my daughter. But it’s more than that. I want to be a human being again. I don’t want strangers on the street asking me when I’m due. I don’t want every conversation I have to be about when this baby is going to arrive. I suppose I should realize that it’s just going to transform into every conversation being about her and how she’s doing and how I’m handling having her. I’m just hoping I can get some of myself back and have a conversation that isn’t focused solely on breeding, that someone will talk to me about my interests or something. Then again, will I have any interests that aren’t centered around our little bot after this? I’m already having trouble remembering what any of those were which is definitely disturbing. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

We’re at 38 weeks and the room is finally complete! Now for the rundown of everything I did! Remember, click on the image to see it on our Flickr for better detail and to see other pics of the room.

Anyone who knows me knows I love big bold pop art graphics. You can see just how much I love painting them from my umbrellas over at Nohwear. So I knew that whatever I did for the little bot’s room would be big, bold and fun. But what? At first, yes, I wanted to do a Discworld themed room, but it seemed too old for her. It seems something a 6 or 7 year old could appreciate more than a 2 or 3 year old and I’m thinking we’re going to be here for a while. The design of the Bot’s room started when I found this company Fabric On Demand. I had looked around at bedding for babies and hated most of what I saw. I’m stubborn and generally, I hate the idea of paying for anything I can do myself. We have had some severe kitty health problems this year. One of which we know won’t be with us much longer. Watching them play one day, I thought about how I hope to teach our little girl to love her kitties as much as we do. With that, combined with discovering the fabric company, the plan started to develop. Gizmo, our youngest kitty is constantly getting into trouble. And he’s always chasing the other two. And healthwise, he’s going to be the Bot’s best friend for a long time. One day he gave me the cutest look like the one that’s looking up inquisitively. From there I started making kitties in different troublemaker poses. After I had them all done I arranged them on the template I made for the sheets and used extra kitties to fill in the blank space of the fabric with the intention of using them for a mobile or something. I sent off the fabric design and waited the results.

The fabric arrived a bit later than anticipated. I wasn’t disappointed, just anxious, but they more than made up for it. Apparently they had a bad batch of fabric and had to re-run my design which caused the delay. I have to say, it makes me appreciate the quality control of the company and in full disclosure, they did make a blanket for me based on the design to make up for the delay completely surprising me by including it in my fabric shipment.

To make the fitted crib sheet I followed the instructions found here Bundles of Love. Note, our mattress is not very thick. When I made my sheets, they’re actually made for a thicker mattress. Our crib can change into a toddler bed and likely we’ll have to buy a thicker mattress down the road at some point. Because of this, I didn’t adjust for the thin mattress so I can continue to use them as long as possible. I did sew the corners using french seems. (Oooh lookit me learning new skills.) And I also used elastic around the entire edge of the sheet even though the instructions said use it only at the corner.

After I designed the sheets, Bob909 said he liked them so much we should do them on the walls. I looked at a number of graphics companies about having removable vinyl stickers made but the cost was just out of our budget. So painting them was my only option.

To make the stencils: I did an estimated measure of how big I wanted each cat based on where I wanted them placed. I took the illustrations from the sheets and scaled them up in Illustrator. Then I printed them out on multiple pages, taped the pages, cut them out, traced them on the wall then painted them.

I wanted some simple shelves on the walls for some little toys that we wanted in her room but not necessarily at reach. I found the shelves at Bed Bath & Beyond as a 4 pack. After they were hung we put up some special contents. The Gir I bought Bob909 back for our first X-mas. The Paddington Bear was his from childhood. (Incidentally, the light blue quilt hanging over the crib was his baby blanket too.) The Penguin was the stuffed animal I gave my mom in the hospital before she died. It was also present at our wedding. I wanted a place for her to watch over our girl. On the shelf on the other wall are 3 music boxes that I got as a girl from my Grandpa and mom.

This shadow box was a gift I made for Bob909 for Valentine’s day 2008. It says “I love you for the way you make my heart sing.” The words were printed on brown paper bag with black ink. The heart is made from some decorative paper I had laying around. I added some glow in the dark stars and put it all together. Up until now it’s been in the living room on top of a book case. I thought it would look really pretty in her room so in it went.

Bob909’s mom found us a swing at a church rummage sale. The colors were atrocious though (I’m not a fan of the dull earth-tone fad that has been so popular for baby stuff the last few years). So I ripped out all the seams of the swing seat cover, picked out some cute striped fabric. Traced the original fabric onto the new, cut it out and sewed it back together. In order to keep the seatbelt holes and such easily I simply reused the polyfill and backing materials. I’m most proud of my making the ruffle at the top since it was my first time doing that. And the ruffle was made using fabric that I use elsewhere in the room on boxes and for her hairclip frame.

The hairclip frame was made pretty simply. I got the frame at Ikea and took out the glass. I bought a roll of corkboard and spray glued it to the cardboard that came with the frame. Then I spray glued this fabric to the coarkboard. Now I will attach some ribbons to the board which I can attach her barrettes and such too.

This Ikea Expedit bookcase was the perfect size to fit under the window in her room. And the fact that Ikea’s storage boxes are so big and sturdy was the icing on the cake. However, I didn’t want to see all her toys and such so I decided to cover them with the same fabric I used on the hairclip frame. Escher, our oldest kitty, is sitting on the window seat, looking like she’s one of the toys. The bookcase on the right was some old thing I was given at some point, the finish on it was horrid. So Bob909 sanded it down and I painted it black. It’s just deep enough to hold some children’s books but it’s also perfect for little stuffed animals.

Here’s our changing area. Another Ikea Expedit, this time it’s the 2×2 which happened to fit snuggly between the bathroom and closet door. Above we’ve got another kitty and a mirror that I’ve had and loved for years. It’s cute to see it reflect the kitties on the opposite wall on it. And surprisingly, I didn’t make the changing pad cover. Bob909 picked it up and we’re going to go with it for now. (I’ll probably end up making one soon enough, we’ll see how my DIY energy holds up after the Bot is born.

Obviously you can see that all three kitties approve of the room and the work we did. Now we’re just waiting for our daughter to arrive and then we can see if the way we’ve set it all up works for us or not. I’m guessing there will be some changes, maybe some hooks for coats and thing on the doors or something. I need to pick up another box from Target for under the bed (where we’re keeping the bed clothes). Other than that, there’s only one thing I would change if I could. That’s put in a black or mirrored chandelier for lighting instead of the one we’ve got. But, since we’re renting, I’m not really interested in paying that much and figuring out how to rewire a very old room.

So now you can tell we’re 38 weeks and ready to go!

Well, the sheets are done and I am simply ecstatic with how they turned out. I’ll be honest. Not my *best* sewing project ever, but I made it work and did elastic stuff for the first time ever, so hooray for trying new things. It was a fun project, a good challenge (even if it is simply sheets). I learned from it and feel confident that I could make some more for the room easily rather than buying them. Which means I’m going to and we’ll be set until she’s out of her toddler bed.

I put smaller kitties on the extra fabric which I planned on making into a mobile but they are simply too small to turn inside out after sewing. The only way to do it would be hand sew it all and that’s just not going to happen. So I’ve come up with some Plan B projects that I will use the smaller kitties in. First I’m going to make a new cover for the baby swing as well as a replacement cover for the infant seat we got. They were both used before. And the infant seat I know went through 3 or 4 babies already. It could use a freshening up, that’s for sure. So I bought the fabric today and plan on making replacements for both on which I’ll applique the little kitties and voila, they’ll go beautifully with the room. I also picked up a fabric I really like that I was thinking of trying to make a dress out of for her, but maybe instead I’ll use it to cover up the Lekmar storage bins that will keep her toys and such. I think it’s a really sweet fabric that would look beautiful in the room and compliment the blue nicely.

You’re not seeing the whole room yet because it’s not done! eep. I’m waiting on quotes back from a company for the wall decals. Blik quoted me 200 which is way more than I will pay. I can paint them no problem, I just figured them being removable would be easier for when we move out. But their removable isn’t even reuseable. So say we moved and our little girl liked them and wanted them again, we’d have to re-buy them all. I’m not cool with that when I’ve got a can of paint and can easily make the stencils for them. So once I hear back from these local guys I’ll either be picking them up in a week and applying them or I’ll be painting on Sunday… A Lot. I have a feeling I’m going to be painting a lot.

I also realized that ages ago I bought patterns for diaper carriers. I mean like 2 years ago at some closeout sale thing. Huh, paid maybe a buck for the pattern and it has this cool Bandoleer style diaper bag option. Bob909 saw it and immediately went “Want!” So now I have to find a good fabric for it and hopefully can make something cool for daddy to use when he’s out with his little bot. Wondering as well how I can make it a fun techy gadget for him too. Like maybe an LED counter so he can keep track of how many nappies he’s changed.

I love how crafty I’m getting thanks to having a little girl. I’m not sure I’d be as much with a boy. Oh who’m I fooling, of COURSE I would.

Less than 5 weeks to go though, I better get cracking if I’m going to get these projects all done before she gets here!

I’m at 33 weeks and feeling huge, but I’m pretty proud of the fact that I’m still riding my bike. Maybe not as much as I’d like, my current job situation has limited me to weekend rides; Maybe not as fast as I’d like, I’m a turtle-ish 10 mph compared to my usual 20-25; But the weather has been holding nice and as long as it does, I’m going to get on my bike.

A lot of people have questioned me about this, and fair enough, I mean, I’m doing everything for 2 right now, but it goes to the core of who I am. I am a cyclist, not pro and not amazing, but it’s in my soul and something I can’t live without.

I’ve tried explaining to people in the past part of the reason why I ride – I feel it’s a lazy man’s exercise and I’m lazy! I’d rather sit on my butt and move my legs than walk, and I’d definitely rather do that then sit around waiting on a bus. So I bike. Possibly a little known fact but biking is one of the best exercises out there for you when pregnant. There’s no impact on your joints, the movements are fluid, it’s good exercise with little effort… All the reasons I bike anyway.

Back in September, sometime around 25 weeks I think it was, I rode 30 miles round trip to go to the Harry Potter Exhibit. It was probably too far a ride for me, but Bob909 and my friend Elaine were willing to go along at my pace and we had energy bars and lots of water to keep me going. When I told some people about this little adventure, I got a few tut-tuts, and frankly I don’t see why.

It’s frustrating hearing or reading how a pregonaut shouldn’t do things they used to do by people who aren’t and have not been pregnant. Even with my Halloween costume, some blog posted about it and criticized me for doing CosPlay when pregnant. (The irony being it was a blog geared toward techy girls and it was a Halloween costume… Hello! How does that figure?) The thing is, yes, being pregnant does change what you can do to a degree. You have to be cautious. You have to take it slower than you did. You do have to reduce the amount you do. You have to pay attention to your limits. But you can still do it. (I’ll be the first to admit that Bob909 is essential in helping me realize what those are sometimes.) But if your pregnancy is healthy there is no reason why you can’t continue doing things you did before being pregnant, you just have to adjust how you do it.

I suppose it’s like every part of being pregnant. You have to take anything anyone says to you with a grain of salt. Your pregnancy is yours and you have to do what’s right for you and your baby. Part of that is not losing yourself during this transition period. And I firmly believe that by doing that you’ll have a much happier post-partum. Of course, we’ll find out if I’m right about that in about 7 more weeks. Until then, as long as the weather permits, I’ll be riding.

This week has been a big week in getting things done around the house in preparation for our little bot. In addition to all the wonderful things we received at the baby shower (post on that forthcoming) we received a couple few things this week that we really needed from other friends and such. The baby’s room is coming along nicely and I’ll be able to fully show it off in a couple of weeks, possibly even next weekend depending on how things go.

But I had to post about what I received today from FabricOnDemand.com. See, I originally was going to do a Discworld themed baby room but the reality is, that would be something we think she’d enjoy more when she was a bit older. Instead I decided to go with a ninja kitty theme, since our house is full of kitties (we have three) and our youngest, though not stealthy, tries hard to be and as a result is ridiculously cute. So I designed these cute little ninja kitties and decided to make a set of sheets out of them. I bought a sample print from the company to determine what color blue I really wanted then made my order. It arrived today and can I just say it looks incredible! I also got the blanket you see here. I can’t believe how great they turned out. The sheets are in progress, and I’ll show them as well as the mobile I’m making once I’m finished, but in the meantime, hope this little blanket makes you giggle with the glees. Oh and btw, that’s Gizmo the inspiration for the designs poking his head out from underneath.

Plenty of books and sites out there tell us what will come during this zanny journey into motherhood. Many of them repeat the same things regarding what we’ll feel, our symptoms, how our bodies will change, even what we’ll be thinking — it’s great and reassuring to know that you’re not alone and what you’re feeling/seeing is normal. But I’ve discovered a few things no book nor person told me about and I never expected to come up. Little bits of insight I wish someone would talk about because if I couldn’t laugh at this bizzaro body I get to have for 9 months, I’d go crazy. I thought I’d share some of them with you.

Here are 10 to start with, I’ll let you know if I come up with any more. Do you have any to add?

1. Using handicap spots. I never thought I’d need to use the handicap stall because my belly is so large it can’t clear the door in most restroom’s regular stalls.
2. Take your navel ring out early. You don’t notice the change to your belly button until much later, but that ring will slowly work its way out leaving an ugly scar that likely could not be repierced. Nipple rings too. I can’t tell you for certain what they’ll do, but maybe better safe than sorry till after you’ve finished breast-feeding.
3. Turtle on its back! I never thought I’d know what it’s like to be a turtle. Now I chant that phrase to myself every time I try to get up. When I need help, I yell it out for Bob909 to come rescue me.
4. It is possible to trip when standing still in one place. Thanks to all that relaxin, I, a normally very well balanced individual, have fallen over while doing absolutely nothing. It’s an especially embarrassing thing to do while waiting at a crowded bus stop.
5. I’ll never pee alone again. Since being prego, our 3 cats are particularly fond of cornering me while on the toilet. One sits on the sink, face right in mine. The other two at my feet giving me death stares and meow non-stop. The clumsy one has taken to leaping on the seat right as I stand up. He’s almost fallen in twice. I know that having a girl it won’t be much different. I cornered my mom in the loo all the time to chat. I’m sure it was annoying at times, but those were also some of our closest conversations.
6. My Ta-Ta’s are a little too TA-DA! (picture jazz hands with that statement) I can only guess that the reason most maternity clothes are cut down to the naval is for easy breastfeeding after the baby arrives, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. Just about every maternity shirt I’ve bought (sans the one in the photo above) is cut this way. It’d be nice if they had some snaps or ties or something to keep my top closed. Can you imagine waiting in line to buy something only to look down and see one of your ladies waving hi at the sales person?
7. My body isn’t my own anymore. Along with #6, maybe it’s partly due to #6, I’ve found that I just have to suck up the fact that my butt is big and when combined with wearing jersey knit tops and bottoms this inevitably means some of those clothes will ride up inappropriately and reveal things I never wanted anyone to see.  Add to that my uncontrollable bodily noises and the fact that generally wearing nothing around is better than fussing with clothes altogether I had to stop being so self-concious. I think this must be part of the preparation process for when you’re in a room with who knows how many people and your legs are spread wide for all the world to see.
8. I finally understand what it’s like to be a guy. At least the boob obsession part. Who knew these things were so… intriguing?  Not even in my pubescent body changing stage was I this curious about my body. Now I find myself playing with my boobs way more than I should… then again, a lot of that is just using my hands to hold them up and relieve my back of a little weight. D-ladies, I do not envy you. These things better go back to being merry little C’s.
9. Do not, under any circumstances, pull out your 1990’s Cure T-shirt and wear it. The fashion of the time dictated all clothes be at least 2 sizes too big, so if you were a M you wore an XL. Do NOT put that XL t-shirt on. You will cry when you discover it’s snug. Keep Mr. Smith in the closet until the day you’re no longer pregnant and baggy clothes are in again or make him into a pillow. No good will come of wearing him, even if you are missing your goth days. Especially if you are missing your old goth days.
10. Do I look fat in this? For once, this is not a loaded question, it’s a hope. Job hunting in this economy is hard, but job hunting while pregnant is nigh impossible. The interview is by far the worst part, especially after you’re showing and officially in maternity wear. It’s the only time in your life you’ll hope you look just fat. Trying to dress to look fat is a challenge unlike none you’ll come across at any other stage of your life. Have some cheesecake and try not to stress about it.

I will be the first to tell you that I’m a control freak. I get an idea in my head and go into “DO” mode faster than the Duggar’s mom can change a diaper. Our wedding is a perfect example. Once we decided the date I had the venue, catering, menu, bridesmaid gowns, DJ, stylists, theme and dressmaker booked and sorted by the end of the 3 day weekend.

My husband probably deserves a medal for dealing with me, to be honest. But I suppose this is why we’re a good match for each other. We understand who likes to do what and how to let the other one take control when necessary.

Knowing I’m a control freak, I wanted to take extra steps to try and include Bob909 in the craziness that is being pregnant and planning for a baby. After all, he’s suffering by scooping 3 cats worth of litter every day for me. It’s the least I can do. He makes it easy to include him, too. He’s a guy who really wants to be involved in what is normally considered “girls” stuff. He put together many of the decorations for the venue – everything from assembling them to setting them up the day of the wedding. Here are a few of the things we’ve done to make it more us and less me.

The baby’s room. I’m a design centric person and he’s a professional retoucher with an incredible eye for color. He let me go crazy with ideas then we narrowed them down by talking through them. (I can tell you now the Discworld nursery is being put on hold to be a Discworld little girl’s room for various reasons – watch for a post about “don’t make rash decisions” in the future.) Once we decided on the theme, I picked the color I wanted to paint it. Then I got samples in a few shades I liked and he made the final call.

The baby furniture. I searched out styles of furniture then shared my favorites with him. We never really came to a final decision on aything I found through websites and at BRU, not for not agreeing but because aesthetics and function were very important to me and I couldn’t find anything that fit both sufficiently. One day we went to Ikea for a coffee table and decided to check out their baby furniture. Bob909 pointed out a nice set to me. It was perfect, not the color I originally planned but I could easily picture it in the design we had decided on.

The stroller. I already wrote about choosing our stroller. But Bob909 was heavily involved in that decision. While I did most of the initial foot work; he made the final model and color decisions. I certainly wouldn’t have said “this is the one” if he didn’t agree.

The baby bike transport. I left this completely up to him. It’s right up his alley and lets him enjoy all the techy geekery that he loves so much. Once he found a couple he preferred, we discussed it and made our final choice. It’s not something we’ll buy until after she’s born though, since she can’t ride in it until she can hold her own head up.

So now you’re thinking, great but that’s all material stuff isn’t it? How is that really involving your husband? Here’s where we really let dad-to-be connect with our impending doom… I mean daughter.

The Name. We have picked our daughter’s name. To be revealed later, maybe. Bob909 suggested it and as soon as I heard it, before we even knew what we were having, I heard tinkling bells and saw stars. We created a list after we knew we were having a girl anyway, so we didn’t make any rash hasty decisions, but no other name compared to it and in less than a day she was named.

Belly Rubs. My skin is super dry and all the books tell us moms-to-be that we need to lotion up. Rather than just making it another preggo task, we make it a chance for Bob909 to spend with his daughter. Usually before we go to bed, after I’ve had my bath he rubs the lotion on my belly and he talks to her too, I also tell her that’s her daddy.

Playlists. I let him choose songs and make playlists for her to listen to. I try to tell her when his choices or favorites come on. Somewhat embarrassing when walking around in public, but with my DIY mommy & baby speaker/iPod holder we both get to share the music and learn her dad’s favorite tunes.

Belly Kisses. First thing in the morning, when get home, and before we go to bed I have him kiss my belly and tell her hello. It’s the greatest thing in the world when he kisses me all over and then says her name into my belly. I love hearing him say her name and that translates into good energy that feeds into her so she knows how much she’s loved.

Laughing. Whenever he makes me laugh (and it’s a lot of the time) I’m sure to tell our girl her dad is funny. Laughter is an important part of our relationship, and I hope it will be for our daughter too.

Spooning. Once a day we spoon for a bit. Instead of him spooning behind me, I spoon behind him, putting the belly in between us, touching his back. This way, she gets some extra heat from a side other than me for her to move towards. If she’s being at all active then he can feel her move (sometimes). This is probably my other favorite time of the day. It’s just a nice quiet moment with the three of us that makes us both smile.

And that’s how we try to share being pregnant. I’d love to hear how you do it, maybe we can try your ideas too.