The Pregonaut

A non-breeder's journey into the unknown

Stompy Zombie Attack July 21, 2009

Filed under: Celestial Body,Provisions — anditron @ 5:37 pm

Chicago zombie pub crawl Well, it happened. I knew it was inevitable, I was just really hoping I wouldn’t succumb so soon. Yesterday I had my first true bought of Pregnancy Cravings. I was rabid. The picture Bob909 nabbed yesterday shows it all. I was feeling hungry and wanting celery and peanutbutter for a snack. That wasn’t so much a craving as it was I knew I needed some protein and wanted something I hadn’t had in the last few weeks. So we put on our shoes and ventured out the whole 3 blocks to the grocery store.

But then it struck. While we went in for just two little things, we always end up remembering other stuff we need and suddenly we needed a basket. No biggie until we walked by the ice cream aisle and a lightbulb went on in my head so bright if I had a migraine my head would have exploded. I turned, walked right down the aisle to where the frozen snickers bars were. I haven’t bought those in a year! But I had to have them. I ripped open the freezer door only to find their spot vacant! I pushed and pulled all the nearby frozen treats to the side hoping against hope to find that glimmer of my MUST HAVE NOW TREAT! But no luck. Sure, just below it the Snickers Drumsticks stood tall and proud. Yes, just down the aisle a couple of doors was a shelf of Snickers ice cream by Breyers, but that wasn’t what I wanted.

I saw an employee and raced toward him. “Please, you’ve got to have the snickers ice cream bars in the back right,” I demanded.

“I’ll go check,” he replied. He was smart, noticing the wild look in my eyes he quickly did an about face and ran to the back. To bad for his family the answer was not the one I was looking for. After I devoured him I proceeded to scare off all the customers in the aisle as I ranted and thrashed about in desperate hunger for an ice cream bar.

Meanwhile Bob909 found this all extraordinarily funny. He taunted and teased and laughed at my insanity. He would suggest one thing or another and chuckle as I foamed at the mouth in rage.

“I want my snickers ice cream bar,” I roared!

“Do you want to go to another store?”

Of course I didn’t, another store was a good 15 minutes away. I wanted ice cream in Snickers form and I wanted it NOW. Finally he stuffed a regular snickers bar in my mouth in hopes that it would act as a tranquilizer. Luckily for all involved it did and I staggered back home where Bob909 hid in a closet with the kitties while I cleaned the blood of the poor employee off of me and slowly transformed back to my normal sweet-natured self.

I’d like to think a lesson has been learned here but really, these cravings are swift, sudden and completely random. There’s no telling what I will demand, but I’m sure the local grocer won’t make the mistake of having anything out of stock again.


4 Responses to “Stompy Zombie Attack”

  1. Jessica Says:

    Now I’m waiting for you to get cravings for ice cream, pickles, and fish sticks! (yes…. all together…) 😀

    • anditron Says:

      I already have a constant need for ice cream… mmmmm ice cream. and I love pickles. Not sure I’m going to get the all at once thing or not, but I’m wagering fishsticks won’t be in the mix. I will however promis to play Bauhaus’ Fish Cakes song while I eat the other two. 😀

  2. Elaine Says:

    The snicker ice cream bar I can understand— the photo of you as a zombie…? awesome! Was that from the zombie pub crawl?

    • anditron Says:

      Oh lord, after the great Snickers Bar incident of 09, Bob909 has sworn to always keep an unending supply of them in the house. This bodes both well and bad. I mean, I don’t need to gain 40 lbs from Snickers ice cream do I?

      Yes the pic was from the pub crawl last year. We didn’t make this years, hopefully we can convince some parents to do a kids zombie crawl in the next year or two. Hah!

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