I’m sitting here with the first moments of quiet I’ve had in over a week. Since the Bot’s birth we haven’t had a day alone with her. First my father came up to visit for a couple days. He left Monday morning and that afternoon Bob909’s mom came into town. She stayed here until Friday, when she went home, and my dad came back again on Saturday until noon today.
Luckily they didn’t stay with us the during their visits. Instead they’d come by in the morning stay most of the day and leave usually after dinner. They were very helpful, taking care of her and helping tidy around the house here and there. But it was really exhausting having someone around constantly and wanting to entertain them. I think by the time Sunday evening came along I was pretty worn out and maybe the little Bot was too as last night was pretty rough for the two of us. We tried to let Bob909 get some sleep since today was his first day back to work. But she kept having non-stop feedings and diaper changes through the night. I finally got a little sleep around 4am. It’s a shame since she’d had such a good night the previous couple of nights.
So with my father leaving today, I was struck with the realization that this is the first time I’ve had alone with my daughter (beyond an hour or so) since she’s been born. It’s kind of frightening to think about and I still can’t believe that the people at the hospital allowed us to leave with her without needing to prove that we knew what to do and how to take care of her. Course, if we had to prove that we probably never would have been allowed to bring her home!
Really though, it’s amazing that I’m caring for this little person the best I can. She amazes me with every movement and breath. I’m at a loss of what I should do during this moment of quiet. Now that she’s lying there asleep, and I know I should just leave her be (and I am), I know what I should be working on, but have absolutely no interest in doing so, I just want to watch her be.