The Pregonaut

A non-breeder's journey into the unknown

Sleeper Update July 19, 2010

Filed under: Ground Control,Space Station — anditron @ 10:00 am

still co-sleeping

I'm still co-sleeping, yeah, yeah, yeah!

I’ve had a few write-ins asking how things were going with the co-sleeper. They especially wondered what we would do once the Bot started rolling over.

Well, first I’ll let you know the bot is rolling… rolling like crazy now, in fact. Every time we put her to bed, she rolls to her side and inevitably rolls to her belly and wakes if we try to put her back on her back. This was terrifying at first. See she was sleeping lengthwise like we do. And it wasn’t a problem until she did start to roll. But that first night she rolled and ended up face down where the two mattresses meet. Fortunately, I wake up every time she moves (and at random intervals in the night to make sure she’s still breathing). So I noticed it as soon as it happened, but it scared me none-the-less. (more…)


Nanny, nanny, woo woo July 1, 2010

Filed under: Ground Control — anditron @ 10:00 am

It's a big city for a little bot.

The other day you read about our incredible luck finding Nanny M; today, I’m going to tell you some of the things that told us why we didn’t need to interview anyone else.

It’s easy to spend lots of time interviewing a bunch of people and places to find the right caregiver for your child. Similar to wedding planning and giant cars we’re told bigger and more is better. Like for some reason you need to see every possibility that has ever existed before you can make a decision. We’re told interview, interview and interview some more and when you’re done you need to do even more leg work to vet that person. There’s so much you’re supposed to dig up – background checks, credit checks, get at least 5 references, contact every one of them and if they can’t provide that then forget the person – I’m not sure I know what that stuff will actually tell you.

I’m not saying that you don’t need references, you do. I’m not telling you not to check out different options and if you’re not wowed choose one anyway. You should choose the caregiver that is right for your child, family and situation. But how do you actually know who is good and who isn’t? What should you look for to know this is the one and stop your search? (more…)


I’ll Drink To That April 4, 2010

Filed under: Celestial Body,Ground Control — anditron @ 1:23 am

P4020160 I participated in a focus group today on alcohol and pregnancy. It’s a touchy subject and one that really brings out the Holier Than Thou in people. There were 9 of us in there, all of whom have had a child in the last year and all of whom have had a drink in the last 30 days. I was the newest mother with a 2.5 month old I believe the oldest was 8 months.

To start things out the moderator asked the question “Is it okay to drink while pregnant?” Everyone around the table began, “No!” “Absolutely not!” “It’s irresponsible.” “If a woman drinks when pregnant she must not want the child.” The judgment spewing out of them made my blood boil. I knew what they were doing, maybe not all of them, but most. I knew they were immediately thinking of the extreme, you know, the idea of someone out clubbing every night sucking down beer and throwing back shots.

Then I spoke, “I drank when I was pregnant. (more…)


Who’s Got to Potty? I Do April 1, 2010

Filed under: Celestial Body,Ground Control — anditron @ 9:57 pm

Hard at WorkI’m realizing now that while I didn’t suffer some of the really hellish pregnancy symptoms, such as morning sickness, I was fatigued. Everything tired me out especially the last three months when I was commuting 2 hours each way to a contract gig. I was exhausted and it’s no wonder I gained 55lbs! But pretty much the day after the Bot’s birth I was ready to get out and get moving. I was actually jealous of my husband and my dad that they got to leave the hospital room, because I was stuck there barely able to move. In fact, the day after we got home from the hospital, I made my dad take me to Target to pick up a couple baby things. And I’ve refused to slow down since. (more…)


The Waiting Game January 3, 2010

Filed under: Ground Control — anditron @ 8:07 pm

IMG_1068Something I didn’t understand in the earlier stages of my pregnancy was why women complained about being pregnant. I don’t mean the “ow my back” complaints, I mean the “I’m tired of it I’m ready to be done” complaints. Until I hit 37 weeks that is.

See, I’ve been lucky thus far, and I know it. I didn’t suffer bad bouts of morning sickness. I didn’t have any bad complications. Cravings were rare if not altogether non-existent. I didn’t have horrible mood swings that turned me into a raging evil beast towards Bob909. (That’s not to say there weren’t a few moments of frustration, but I don’t think they were much worse than how I am when not pregnant.) The worst thing I’ve suffered during my pregnancy has been the hip relaxing issues that have made walking and sleeping increasingly difficult. So when I found myself saying I’m ready to be done, I was surprised! Was I really tired of being pregnant? And the answer is a resounding “Yes!”

It seems 37 weeks is that magic moment. By now the baby is full term. She could come at any moment and be just fine. From the moment I hit 37 weeks, I’ve been hoping every day, all day, that labor would start. It’s my own personal torture which isn’t helped by the fact that everyone I talk to only bothers to ask “How long now?” like I’m no longer a person, I’m just a baby incubator waiting to spit one out. Oh sure, “Have you had her yet” might be followed up with the question of “How are you feeling”, but it all boils down to one subject, the baby.

Bob909 hasn’t had it any easier either. Everyday at work for him, people walk up and ask “Has she gone into labor yet?” Not thinking about the fact that if I were in labor or had had our daughter he wouldn’t be at work, he’d be at the hospital or at home with us!

As each week has passed it only gets worse. The outside nagging piles up and wears us down. I call Bob909 and the first thing he asks is if I’m in labor. Actually, it got so bad that when I called and he answered I’d start off the conversation with “I’m not in labor.” If I wake up in the middle of the night (and I do about 6 times from initially going to bed to when I’m tired of tossing and turning and finally get up) he wakes up and asks me if it’s contractions. I make a groan or a sign or an ooh from getting up or the little bot moving and he asks if it’s labor. And every time it isn’t.

Then there’s the “Can we make it happen sooner” attempts. We talk about my walking more, climbing stairs, acupressure, having the massage therapist focus on the points that are supposed to induce. And yes, of course, I’m doing all these things as well as eating spicy food every meal I could and every other old wives tale that is supposed to work. When I went to the midwife I had her check my progress and while I was happy to hear I was 1 cm and 50% effaced, I was frustrated knowing that that meant nothing really because it just doesn’t work that way.

Now I’m at 39 weeks and I’m miserable. I can’t stand hearing anyone ask if she’s come yet or are we getting close. The phone rang today and I was going to ignore it cause I knew it was just someone asking if the baby has been born yet. It was my dad so I answered, but sure enough the first thing he asked is if I had any news. Same with my brother, who surprisingly you would think remembers the agony, but apparently both their sons were a month early, so they didn’t go through this part of pregnancy.

I think this has to be the worst part of being pregnant for me. I’m not a patient person and I want to see my daughter. But it’s more than that. I want to be a human being again. I don’t want strangers on the street asking me when I’m due. I don’t want every conversation I have to be about when this baby is going to arrive. I suppose I should realize that it’s just going to transform into every conversation being about her and how she’s doing and how I’m handling having her. I’m just hoping I can get some of myself back and have a conversation that isn’t focused solely on breeding, that someone will talk to me about my interests or something. Then again, will I have any interests that aren’t centered around our little bot after this? I’m already having trouble remembering what any of those were which is definitely disturbing. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.


I’m still riding… November 24, 2009

Filed under: Celestial Body,Ground Control — anditron @ 2:36 pm
Tags: , ,

cycling pregonaut I’m at 33 weeks and feeling huge, but I’m pretty proud of the fact that I’m still riding my bike. Maybe not as much as I’d like, my current job situation has limited me to weekend rides; Maybe not as fast as I’d like, I’m a turtle-ish 10 mph compared to my usual 20-25; But the weather has been holding nice and as long as it does, I’m going to get on my bike.

A lot of people have questioned me about this, and fair enough, I mean, I’m doing everything for 2 right now, but it goes to the core of who I am. I am a cyclist, not pro and not amazing, but it’s in my soul and something I can’t live without.

I’ve tried explaining to people in the past part of the reason why I ride – I feel it’s a lazy man’s exercise and I’m lazy! I’d rather sit on my butt and move my legs than walk, and I’d definitely rather do that then sit around waiting on a bus. So I bike. Possibly a little known fact but biking is one of the best exercises out there for you when pregnant. There’s no impact on your joints, the movements are fluid, it’s good exercise with little effort… All the reasons I bike anyway.

Back in September, sometime around 25 weeks I think it was, I rode 30 miles round trip to go to the Harry Potter Exhibit. It was probably too far a ride for me, but Bob909 and my friend Elaine were willing to go along at my pace and we had energy bars and lots of water to keep me going. When I told some people about this little adventure, I got a few tut-tuts, and frankly I don’t see why.

It’s frustrating hearing or reading how a pregonaut shouldn’t do things they used to do by people who aren’t and have not been pregnant. Even with my Halloween costume, some blog posted about it and criticized me for doing CosPlay when pregnant. (The irony being it was a blog geared toward techy girls and it was a Halloween costume… Hello! How does that figure?) The thing is, yes, being pregnant does change what you can do to a degree. You have to be cautious. You have to take it slower than you did. You do have to reduce the amount you do. You have to pay attention to your limits. But you can still do it. (I’ll be the first to admit that Bob909 is essential in helping me realize what those are sometimes.) But if your pregnancy is healthy there is no reason why you can’t continue doing things you did before being pregnant, you just have to adjust how you do it.

I suppose it’s like every part of being pregnant. You have to take anything anyone says to you with a grain of salt. Your pregnancy is yours and you have to do what’s right for you and your baby. Part of that is not losing yourself during this transition period. And I firmly believe that by doing that you’ll have a much happier post-partum. Of course, we’ll find out if I’m right about that in about 7 more weeks. Until then, as long as the weather permits, I’ll be riding.


What I Didn’t Expect When I Was Expecting November 5, 2009

Filed under: Celestial Body,Ground Control — anditron @ 3:47 pm

Loading... Please WaitPlenty of books and sites out there tell us what will come during this zanny journey into motherhood. Many of them repeat the same things regarding what we’ll feel, our symptoms, how our bodies will change, even what we’ll be thinking — it’s great and reassuring to know that you’re not alone and what you’re feeling/seeing is normal. But I’ve discovered a few things no book nor person told me about and I never expected to come up. Little bits of insight I wish someone would talk about because if I couldn’t laugh at this bizzaro body I get to have for 9 months, I’d go crazy. I thought I’d share some of them with you.

Here are 10 to start with, I’ll let you know if I come up with any more. Do you have any to add?

  1. Using handicap spots. I never thought I’d need to use the handicap stall because my belly is so large it can’t clear the door in most restroom’s regular stalls.
  2. Take your navel ring out early. You don’t notice the change to your belly button until much later, but that ring will slowly work its way out leaving an ugly scar that likely could not be repierced. Nipple rings too. I can’t tell you for certain what they’ll do, but maybe better safe than sorry till after you’ve finished breast-feeding.
  3. Turtle on its back! I never thought I’d know what it’s like to be a turtle. Now I chant that phrase to myself every time I try to get up. When I need help, I yell it out for Bob909 to come rescue me.
  4. It is possible to trip when standing still in one place. Thanks to all that relaxin, I, a normally very well balanced individual, have fallen over while doing absolutely nothing. It’s an especially embarrassing thing to do while waiting at a crowded bus stop.
  5. I’ll never pee alone again. Since being prego, our 3 cats are particularly fond of cornering me while on the toilet. One sits on the sink, face right in mine. The other two at my feet giving me death stares and meow non-stop. The clumsy one has taken to leaping on the seat right as I stand up. He’s almost fallen in twice. I know that having a girl it won’t be much different. I cornered my mom in the loo all the time to chat. I’m sure it was annoying at times, but those were also some of our closest conversations.
  6. My Ta-Ta’s are a little too TA-DA! (picture jazz hands with that statement) I can only guess that the reason most maternity clothes are cut down to the naval is for easy breastfeeding after the baby arrives, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. Just about every maternity shirt I’ve bought (sans the one in the photo above) is cut this way. It’d be nice if they had some snaps or ties or something to keep my top closed. Can you imagine waiting in line to buy something only to look down and see one of your ladies waving hi at the sales person?
  7. My body isn’t my own anymore. Along with #6, maybe it’s partly due to #6, I’ve found that I just have to suck up the fact that my butt is big and when combined with wearing jersey knit tops and bottoms this inevitably means some of those clothes will ride up inappropriately and reveal things I never wanted anyone to see.  Add to that my uncontrollable bodily noises and the fact that generally wearing nothing around is better than fussing with clothes altogether I had to stop being so self-concious. I think this must be part of the preparation process for when you’re in a room with who knows how many people and your legs are spread wide for all the world to see.
  8. I finally understand what it’s like to be a guy. At least the boob obsession part. Who knew these things were so… intriguing?  Not even in my pubescent body changing stage was I this curious about my body. Now I find myself playing with my boobs way more than I should… then again, a lot of that is just using my hands to hold them up and relieve my back of a little weight. D-ladies, I do not envy you. These things better go back to being merry little C’s.
  9. Do not, under any circumstances, pull out your 1990’s Cure T-shirt and wear it. The fashion of the time dictated all clothes be at least 2 sizes too big, so if you were a M you wore an XL. Do NOT put that XL t-shirt on. You will cry when you discover it’s snug. Keep Mr. Smith in the closet until the day you’re no longer pregnant and baggy clothes are in again or make him into a pillow. No good will come of wearing him, even if you are missing your goth days. Especially if you are missing your old goth days.
  10. Do I look fat in this? For once, this is not a loaded question, it’s a hope. Job hunting in this economy is hard, but job hunting while pregnant is nigh impossible. The interview is by far the worst part, especially after you’re showing and officially in maternity wear. It’s the only time in your life you’ll hope you look just fat. Trying to dress to look fat is a challenge unlike none you’ll come across at any other stage of your life. Have some cheesecake and try not to stress about it.


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